there is no heart as tender and loving as His, no arm as strong as His and no voice as calm as His  =)

..on life

wherever you go, make sure your heart follows

this was something i saw on a poster when i sat down on the toilet bowl in school. what a strange place it was to have read this. i teared when i saw this (so emotional) but it was because i knew it was for me. we (colleagues) have been having conversations about the next step, whether to move on or to stay on after this one year. we could never come to a conclusion. but each time we have this conversation, i'd get dizzy with all the advice and comments. there are people who seem so wise, so much wisdom they've got going on, so much plans they have for their lives, so much responsiblity steering their directions in life. there are people who have started thinking about marriage, thinking about insurance, thinking about saving plans, thinking about ways to build their finances, buying properties, talking about shares. this all seem so foreign to me and im not even thinking about all these kind of things! i feel like a baby. i dont know what shares to buy, i dont know how to puff up my savings, i dont know how to plan for my life i totally feel like this person:

"And Solomon said: “You have shown great mercy to Your servant David my father, because he walked before You in truth, in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart with You; You have continued this great kindness for him, and You have given him a son to sit on his throne, as it is this day. ⁷ Now, O LORD my God, You have made Your servant king instead of my father David, but I am a little child; I do not know how to go out or come in. ⁸ And Your servant is in the midst of Your people whom You have chosen, a great people, too numerous to be numbered or counted. ⁹ Therefore give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?”

He was made king and yet he says 'i am a little child'. he asked for wisdom and God was pleased with that. i dont have it all but im praying for wisdom. there's gonna be a greater knowing, a deeper knowing than before. being smart/street-smart and being wise, they are poles apart. the wisdom of men can fail me but i know i can rely upon the wisdom of God. it's cool

anyway i digress, "wherever you go make sure your heart follows", i have decided i will not be a settler. Terah(Gen 11:27) was a settler. he was called but he settled along the way where it got comfortable. Im sure people who settle for something less have their hearts elsewhere. have their hearts yearning for something better. it's a sucky feeling because your heart is never at rest. no, some just dont become the person they were supposed to be. is where you are at all too comfortable for you? jiejiestefanieoh once said this "where is your faith if you have everything before moving out?" that is so true, how many years are you going to take saving up all that cash just to go somewhere? saving up all that talent just so you can be 'good enough' when a day comes? im not saying we be stupid but im saying when He calls, He will provide. and as it is, it's gonna be the best place ever, best time ever.

it's long weekend time!!!!!!!!! 00 & \\\\\ is 40 years old!?

unbelievable.

calling me on and on

i had a really busy day today. no, acty not that busy until like 2pm but i talked until i couldnt talk anymore. they keep wanting remedials from me. remedials for 3 hours yesterday and today is no joke man. but i love my class they are so funny. sometimes i feel like im one of them joking and talking with them and then i have to control myself and be all teacher-ish. they say so many things to encourage me it's funny. i truly believe that's the favour of God because i couldnt have done anything to get such a fun class for math. im so patient in class its funny. im giving my best in this season...it's funny

sunshine

Don't worry now, it's all erased
Burn to grey and white
Your fireproof heart was never wasted
And steady all the while
So You say.

(edited)

my fav person is not well, her heart is unwell. she says she dreams of being called away by the dead. is life leaving her? i pray no. at least not yet..

bursting

so what is this freedom we claim to have?

we're so free we dont even know how free we are. because of what Jesus did when he walked on earth and went to the cross, we;re so free to come just as we are into the throne of grace to find help and mercy in our times of need. we're freed from law into grace where we can receive undeserved, unmerited favour. we're free from trying to be who we are not half the time and freed into being who we are just the way He fearfully and wonderfully made us. we're freed into a rest that's too good to be true that we need to keep reminding ourselves that because the work has been done, the law has been fulfilled and has come to its own end that we can rest and be so soaked up in grace. that we can rest and see Him work things out in our lives. it cannot be about us can it? it cannot be about us trying to lead a life that is pleasing unto Him because its so frigging impossible. it cannot be us bringing so wonderful a worship to Him can it? because God's standards are way way way higher than our standards. so you see it's never about us and what we do but it's about being conscious of who He is, His being, His love, His grace. living a life that is pleasing unto Him is only a response to His being, to His love and His grace. it's an automatic thing isnt it? you dont have to preach about right living becase right living comes from right believing. you never live out something unless you're so damn convicted about something. i want to keep reminding myself that in my life, it's all about the grace of God, it's all about the love of Christ that sets my feet to dancing, that fills my life with life. i smell freedom in the air, i smell victory in the air. sundays are supposed to be days for the revival of hearts, im glad for this sunday. im alive

we come just as we are to the throne of grace and then we are changed like never before.