this is harder than taking medicine

I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in Your hands
Lay back against You and breathe
Feel Your heart beat
This love is so deep
It's more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace
It's overwhelming

HI! leaving for tokyo in seven hours time, waking up in 4 hours time. funny, im not even close to being excited about the trip. my sister's so excited she kept pacing up and down the house refusing to sleep. i've been warned how it's gonna be so crowded and crazy. not really my kind of thing because i love to chill and relax but with family, i dont think i'll do that very often. hope i'll make some advances with the book im bringing. i loved nagoya and im gonna be positive about tokyo, disneyland and mt fuji here i come! yesterday was one of the first times i had the worst headache of my life making decisions. deciding to buy boots or buy sneakers was literally driving me crazy, i know insane right? this is me. i hate making decisions, i hate choosing, i hate weighing the consequences time and time again, over and over again in my head. it's like torture. when i look and stare right into the whole thing, i cannot help but get confused, get upset, get nervous, get fearful, get panicky and all. but the thing is when i set my eyes on Jesus, when i look at Him, when i come to the throne of grace, when i begin to be aware of His presence and goodness, everything else begins to become like a tidy stack of papers, like it never went messy, like it never toppled. there's an assurance i cannot explain, a knowing i cannot even begin to comprehend. what if i decide to give up? He says His arm will sustain me. what if i go to a lousy place? He says all things work out for the good of those who love Him, He says He is my Abba Father. i met lynette the other day and she said sometimes we dont need to know the outcomes before making any decision. sometimes we just cant know! we just cant see but who do we look to then? who do we rely on then? all the more we need to look at Him, we need to rely on the one who is Alpha and Omega, Beginning and the End, the One who has seen my future and says it is good, the One who made me and has a good opinion of me. it's true, i want to look at the outcome and then choose but i dont need to because His hand will lead me, because im yoked with the Righteous One, yoked with the Stronger One, surely He'll take me to places. that really takes the burden of me. 

Mary was right to do what she did when Jesus, the King of Kings came into her house that very day. she just sat and drew and drew and drew from Him. she just sat there, amazed and so drawn into His presence, so drawn into what He had to say. it must have been such a comfort to just sit there, enjoying the presence of a King, not busy serving or asking people about Him but having Him in your house. what an honour, what a priviledge, what a joy it must have been for Mary. it's so sad that Martha was in the very same place as Mary but she completely missed the point, she completely missed out on that "one thing that is needed" even though her intentions were good. you see good intentions does not mean they are God-intended. God does not need us to serve Him, He does not need us to fill Him, in fact He loves it when we draw from Him, He loves it when we just sit and enjoy His presence.

i pray we will always fight to sit and draw from Him who is never empty.

seeyou in nine days!

"His arms are rods of gold
       set with chrysolite.
       His body is like polished ivory
       decorated with sapphires.

  His legs are pillars of marble
       set on bases of pure gold.
       His appearance is like Lebanon,
       choice as its cedars.

 His mouth is sweetness itself;
       he is altogether lovely.
       This is my lover, this my friend,
       O daughters of Jerusalem." (Song of solomon 5)

He's altogether lovely, altogether wonderful, altogether beautiful. This is Jesus, whom the sinners rushed to, whom prostitutes found love and acceptance in. This is Jesus whose voice can calm the stormiest seas, whose grip can cause a dead man to come alive. He's more than a teacher, more than a man, He's my Saviour, my Redeemer, my Mediator, my King and my God. The bible says my life is hidden in Christ (Colossians 3:3), that's such a comfort to know.

finding you

will we get to eat ichigo daifuku again when we get to japan? i really want to eat this. i hope its the season for this. ^_^

today my hor peng yu and I walked from china town to greatworld city

^_^

okay i need to stop doing this.

the sweetest thing

this is a picture that sums up my week.

it's like sports week or something. monday was badminton day, tuesday was basketball day, today was both basketball and badminton. i have offically become zheng jing ting.my badminton skills are improving heaps how about that.it's just that my arms are coming off my body and my legs are immovable. it's technicallly our last week together, the five of us. now that i think about it, it makes me want to cry. cos i cannot imagine sitting in that place all by myself having to manage and face all the insane people on the 2nd flr. i dont know if i will get the letter but i trust that my future is in good hands. it's a time where i need to abide in Him, i need to draw up from the vine His plans and opinions on my life. He keeps reminding me of everything i said before i started work. it's different now, im not in panic mode because this is exactly the place i was supposed to be at and i see how these four months have been nothing but favour and grace (really). my steps will be bigger because i  have tasted and seen the goodness of God so much, its so yummy. to air my head, these are my options

1) go to nie with miss ong and maybe miss he if we both get the letter soon

2)  if i dont get the letter, stay till june with who ah

3) quit now

(if 2 happens and i stay till june..)

4) get the letter in june but reject it to go study psych

or

5) get the letter in june reject it to go ywam in sept and then go study psych

or

6) accept nie and be teacher for three years + 1 yr nie

mmmnnhhmmm this is my brain segmented into six pieces ever since missong got the letter.

there is no heart as tender and loving as His, no arm as strong as His and no voice as calm as His  =)