You hold my every moment

"The thing is each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced with all the people we’ve ever known. And it’s these moments that become our history. Like our own personal greatest hits of memories that we play and replay in our minds over and over again” The Vow, 2012

Sometimes we look at life so macro-ly, life sometimes become defined by the years. I'm so glad You hold all things together, You hold my life in Your hand and You who live outside of time, always seem to meet me in moments. it's been a really full year, full of life-changing moments, full of moments that make your heart so full and so desperate. I remember the time when my grandfather was hospitalised. It was so heartbreaking to hear bad reports after another. I remember not being able to hold back the tears so much so I had to go to the toilet in the hospital to cry my heart out. I remember having to hug my 86 year old grandmother who was crying at the sight of my grandfather bound up. There was just so much to take. it was really a difficult start to this year but God is good. He brought my grandfather out of hospital, his health restored at aged 92 and he is still very much sane and alive. I remember praying one night and God showed me the passage (Luke 7) where the centurion had so much faith that Jesus would heal his servant. He said to Jesus "..say the word and my servant shall be healed. For I also am a man placed under authority, having soldiers under me. And I say to one, 'Go,' and he goes; and to another, 'Come,' he comes and to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it." He had such a good opinion of Jesus, he had it in his heart to say that. He took the word of God as finite and unchanging; as yes and amen. and I remember saying, Jesus I know you are willing and if you would heal the centurion's servant (not even relative), you would heal my grandfather. From that moment, I knew something good was going to happen to my grandfather. The circumstances sure were deceiving but God's word is like this - it never returns to Him void. Our faith arises from the word of God. The word was flesh and was with God, the Word is Jesus. Our faith apart from Jesus is nothing. Faith arises when we see Jesus. How can we not take heart when we see Jesus? The precious Lamb of God, the altogether lovely One :) I'm so glad, He never fails us. His word never changes. Full of promise and surety.

This is some of the many moments I would like to bring to remembrance in the future. 

It is well

Finished my first examination of this semester. First examination after one and a half years of not studying. Man I really felt like my brains were a little rusty. How did one semester fly by so fast? Oh time, please slow down a little while I savour everything I wanna savour. I feel really thankful for this paper I just had. Studying here is so different from NUS or maybe I just didn't bother as much with my studies then. But I'm grateful for good course mates who really share their notes so willingly, they compel me to want to do the same as well. They are smart, brilliant but they are willing to share their notes with you. Maybe not everybody is like that, but for this paper I couldn't have asked for better help. Anyway, yay it's over! I only have one more paper left before the farmily comes and spend a week here in Perthyyy. We human beings can really adapt well to our surroundings can we? Sorry my brain is filled with stuff from evolutionary psychology :)

It's winter! Okay sometimes it's autumn but more often than not it's winter for me cos I'm so afraid of the cold. Sometimes I feel, we really have to go through the strangest things ever possibly to find out who we really are, what we really want and most importantly how good our Daddy God is. His goodness always, always wins the enemy's attempts to bring us down. Yesterday while spending some time with Daddy God and reading the spiritual warfare book by pastor prince, this story about the Shunammite woman really struck a chord within me. She did not have any children but God through Elisha promised to give her a son and so she conceived and bore a son. Yet one day, her son fell sick and died in her arms. I love how she responded. She was calm and even told her husband "It is well". It is well, how did she even managed to say that when her precious son has just died? Later on we learn that her son was raised from the dead by Elisha. This woman had amazing faith and she like God, calls those things which are not as though they were. But I really do not think it had to do with her faith but how she saw God for who He is. She must have believed if He gave her this son, it doesn't make sense for Him to take it away. She recognised who was the Supplier of all good things and who only comes to steal, to kill and to destroy. Sometimes people don't understand why you have to be so careful with what you declare with your mouth or why are you declaring things that are of an extreme opposite from what's happening in your situation. But God, He calls those things which are not as though they were. We need to look beyond our situations here and call forth things which are not as though they were. It is well, because He will be my strength when I have no strength. It is well because He has promised in His word that He will never leave me nor forsake me. It is well because Jesus, who is the Lion and the Lamb, has overcome death and is seated on His throne. It is well because He says He shall supply all my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Are you able to see that things will be well and things are well because He holds our lives in His hands? It's not about being superstitious over here but it's the knowledge that our words carry so much weight and as children of God, we can declare wholeness, wellness, shalom into our situations. I love that He is always true to His word that His word never goes back to Him void. I love that if we ask Him for bread, He doesn't give us a stone. 'It is well' is no longer a defeatist kind of statement whereby "It's okay la, God gives and takes away" but I believe even more so that 'It is well' is seeing your situation be made well that the Shalom of God comes and explodes in your situation where it is not well and it will be made well or even better and end up in victory because He is always the God of more, the God who always exceeds our expectations. 

This day, I know that He is for me and it is well :)

Elephants

If the elephants have past lives yet are destined to always remember

It's no wonder how they scream 

Like you and I they must have some temper 

And I am dreaming of them on the plains 

Dirtying up their beds 

Watching for some sign of rain to cool their hot heads  

And how dare that you send me that card when I'm doing all that I can do 

You are forcing me to remember when all I want is to just forget you  

If the tiger shall protect her young then tell me how did you slip by 

All my instincts have failed me for once I must have somehow slept the whole night  

And I am dreaming of them with their kill 

Tearing it all apart

Blood dripping from their lips and teeth sinking into heart  

And how dare that you say you'll call When you know I need some peace of mind

If you have to take sides with the animals 

Won't you do it with one who is kind  

And if the hawks in the trees need the dead 

If you're living you don't stand a chance 

For a time though you share the same bed 

There are only two ends to this dance  

You can flee with your wounds just in time or lie there as he feeds 

Watching yourself ripped to shreds and laughing as you bleed  

So for those of you falling in love 

Keep it kind Keep it good Keep it right 

Throw yourself in the midst of danger but keep one eye open at night.

Saviour//

We sang 'Overcome' today at church. And it really felt like a church as we stood there with our hands lifted up declaring that Jesus has overcome sin, conquered death and is now seated on the throne, so glorious, so worthy of praise. Oh Church, He has overcome by the blood of the Lamb.  He has overcome and the bible says as He is so are we in this world (1John). Such a cry for the sons and daughters to rise up knowing that Jesus has overcome and in the very same way, we are overcomers. Such a cry for us to speak to this darkness and tell it to go away because we have overcome by the blood of the Lamb. To tell darkness in the face that it cannot belong here anymore because the sons of Light are taking their place and bringing light into the darkness. It's true the god of this age has blinded the eyes of men but this is the season and age where the Sons of Light shall arise and take up their authority. They shall heal the blind, bring sight to those who have been blinded, set the captives free, love the unlovely and speak forth life into dry bones. Can't wait to see the church shine like a bride, to be all that He has called us to be.

Saviour, worthy of honour and glory

Worthy of all our praise.

For You overcame.

Jesus, awesome in power forever

Awesome and great is Your name.

For You overcame.

Grateful.

"The things He's placed on your heart... they don't go away that easily."

Something I heard inside me while surfing on the internet. It's sucha reminder that the things He's put on my heart, they're still the very same things on my heart and they don't go away just because I'm in a different place, a different season. Really grateful for how the week's turned out to be more than what I asked for. I remember praying last friday during cellgroup for a week of fun and rest. I remember specifically saying " I don't know how this week's gonna be but I'm praying it'll be fun somehow." And then Saturday came and it was just bam bam bam. Daddy god's been doing alot of these things recently. My cell leader says he thinks god's name is jehovah sneaky haha. The other day I was doing laundry at night and I wanted to collect my clothes and suddenly the door just wouldnt open for some crazy reason even after tapping my card for z zillion times. even had to call the residents' assistant. And then I prayed and suddenly I tap my card again and the door just opened -.-. So many more incidents other than for this two. Can't even begin to talk about things such as how He led me to a good supervisor, brought like-minded people to me, sent me help when I was lost and helpless, fed me when I was hungry and yet lazy to cook. I'm not a seeker of signs and wonders but I really believe with all my heart you can rely on Him for every thing. He's such a solid rock, so faithful in all His ways. Sometimes I don't even understand why He chooses to do all these things for me? I don't even understand why He bothers to say "I love you, daughter" while I'm just walking to school or just going home at night. It's true, like in the Song of Solomon, He's such a Lover of our souls. He pursues us relentlessly.