youarewonder's Xanga

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:22:56 GMT

there is no heart as tender and loving as His, no arm as strong as His and no voice as calm as His =)

..on life

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 07:26:10 GMT

wherever you go, make sure your heart follows

this was something i saw on a poster when i sat down on the toilet bowl in school. what a strange place it was to have read this. i teared when i saw this (so emotional) but it was because i knew it was for me. we (colleagues) have been having conversations about the next step, whether to move on or to stay on after this one year. we could never come to a conclusion. but each time we have this conversation, i'd get dizzy with all the advice and comments. there are people who seem so wise, so much wisdom they've got going on, so much plans they have for their lives, so much responsiblity steering their directions in life. there are people who have started thinking about marriage, thinking about insurance, thinking about saving plans, thinking about ways to build their finances, buying properties, talking about shares. this all seem so foreign to me and im not even thinking about all these kind of things! i feel like a baby. i dont know what shares to buy, i dont know how to puff up my savings, i dont know how to plan for my life i totally feel like this person:

"And Solomon said: “You have shown great mercy to Your servant David my father, because he walked before You in truth, in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart with You; You have continued this great kindness for him, and You have given him a son to sit on his throne, as it is this day. ⁷ Now, O LORD my God, You have made Your servant king instead of my father David, but I am a little child; I do not know how to go out or come in. ⁸ And Your servant is in the midst of Your people whom You have chosen, a great people, too numerous to be numbered or counted. ⁹ Therefore give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people, that I may discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?”

He was made king and yet he says 'i am a little child'. he asked for wisdom and God was pleased with that. i dont have it all but im praying for wisdom. there's gonna be a greater knowing, a deeper knowing than before. being smart/street-smart and being wise, they are poles apart. the wisdom of men can fail me but i know i can rely upon the wisdom of God. it's cool

anyway i digress, "wherever you go make sure your heart follows", i have decided i will not be a settler. Terah(Gen 11:27) was a settler. he was called but he settled along the way where it got comfortable. Im sure people who settle for something less have their hearts elsewhere. have their hearts yearning for something better. it's a sucky feeling because your heart is never at rest. no, some just dont become the person they were supposed to be. is where you are at all too comfortable for you? jiejiestefanieoh once said this "where is your faith if you have everything before moving out?" that is so true, how many years are you going to take saving up all that cash just to go somewhere? saving up all that talent just so you can be 'good enough' when a day comes? im not saying we be stupid but im saying when He calls, He will provide. and as it is, it's gonna be the best place ever, best time ever.

it's long weekend time!!!!!!!!! 00 & \\\\\ is 40 years old!?

unbelievable.

calling me on and on

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 13:50:55 GMT

i had a really busy day today. no, acty not that busy until like 2pm but i talked until i couldnt talk anymore. they keep wanting remedials from me. remedials for 3 hours yesterday and today is no joke man. but i love my class they are so funny. sometimes i feel like im one of them joking and talking with them and then i have to control myself and be all teacher-ish. they say so many things to encourage me it's funny. i truly believe that's the favour of God because i couldnt have done anything to get such a fun class for math. im so patient in class its funny. im giving my best in this season...it's funny

sunshine

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:42:14 GMT

Don't worry now, it's all erased
Burn to grey and white
Your fireproof heart was never wasted
And steady all the while
So You say.

(edited)

my fav person is not well, her heart is unwell. she says she dreams of being called away by the dead. is life leaving her? i pray no. at least not yet..

bursting

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 14:00:52 GMT

so what is this freedom we claim to have?

we're so free we dont even know how free we are. because of what Jesus did when he walked on earth and went to the cross, we;re so free to come just as we are into the throne of grace to find help and mercy in our times of need. we're freed from law into grace where we can receive undeserved, unmerited favour. we're free from trying to be who we are not half the time and freed into being who we are just the way He fearfully and wonderfully made us. we're freed into a rest that's too good to be true that we need to keep reminding ourselves that because the work has been done, the law has been fulfilled and has come to its own end that we can rest and be so soaked up in grace. that we can rest and see Him work things out in our lives. it cannot be about us can it? it cannot be about us trying to lead a life that is pleasing unto Him because its so frigging impossible. it cannot be us bringing so wonderful a worship to Him can it? because God's standards are way way way higher than our standards. so you see it's never about us and what we do but it's about being conscious of who He is, His being, His love, His grace. living a life that is pleasing unto Him is only a response to His being, to His love and His grace. it's an automatic thing isnt it? you dont have to preach about right living becase right living comes from right believing. you never live out something unless you're so damn convicted about something. i want to keep reminding myself that in my life, it's all about the grace of God, it's all about the love of Christ that sets my feet to dancing, that fills my life with life. i smell freedom in the air, i smell victory in the air. sundays are supposed to be days for the revival of hearts, im glad for this sunday. im alive

we come just as we are to the throne of grace and then we are changed like never before.

favourite person; favourite picture

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 16:41:29 GMT

finding my place

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 15:27:22 GMT

the long weekend is here. that's so good for me ;) so ive started work and i just realized its been more than one month since i started work. time really flies when you're busy. it's funny but im still finding my place in this mad season. i think i shall call this season - the work season. not that i have no time to rest infact i have alot of time to rest despite my crazy schedules. that im rather thankful for. im really enjoying what im doing everyday. not everything but most of it. but im asking myself the same question everyday "do i want to do this for three years of my life?" there are some days i can see myself doing that and other days just thinking about it makes me feel like i just got hit by a lorry but im praying for wisdom, praying for discernment, praying for boldness in every step, in every way. im so grateful for how He's been leading me everyday since i started work. it's like stepping into graceland and receiving things and favours i dont deserve. loving it!

Floating and fighting, like a kite on a string
Till you cut through my tether and changed everything
From the sky you looked small, but I loved you the same
So I darted back quickly to spell out your name
And when they say that I'm just a terrible kite
You'll tell them you're proud of my marvelous flight.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 09:45:31 GMT

oh the nerves and the dread you dont belong here.

美しい。

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:01:29 GMT

hehe.

so yesterday i took my grandfather to the dentist. i love my dentist. she's pretty and cool. i witnessed the entire tooth extraction process, so fun! my grandfather took his bloody tooth home to show my grandmother. anyways, i just found out that my grandfather is 87 years old. in three years time, he'll be NINETY. what a life! im so thankful both my grandparents are so healthy despite being so old. i believe it's because my heavenly father has been faithful in preserving their lives, faithful in hearing and answering our prayers. and i found out my grandmother's birthday is in april! (we never celebrated her birthday). living for 87 years without knowing our heavenly father intimately is not funny at all. salvation is here, i believe! happy i got to know them a little more yesterday.

all that you have for me

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:22:01 GMT

some photos from japan last year i found while browsing.

the cutest baby ever at church. woo how i wanna cuddle him now. (fat arms me)

this rest period has been really good for me. been learning so much, it's so amazing and im so thankful. be it through the services or the dvds or the books ive been reading or the pep talks at coffee joints or just by talking to people, im just so thankful for the time ive had to learn, absorb and see things in a different way. i believe my eyes have been opened for reasons and convictions established for better days ahead. something changed after meeting lyn two thursdays ago (thank God for auntie lyn heh). he was doing/did something with my heart. it was like a call to open up my heart and not run away. this is what ive been seeing recently too; my father is a seeker of hearts. in any case, im just 'feeling' (i know i am) really blessed to be at this place, at this time. it feels like im stepping into a different season of my life. it scares me many times and it feels like nobody understands sometimes but i think im just the kind of person who likes to stay put in places, to not move on. to just be comfortable at where i am but i believe it is the time to move on, it is the time to really prepare myself. sharpening the vision is what i am believing for. my fulltime ministry starts the very day i decide to give my heart to Jesus and allow Him to lead me in every way. i dont have a 5 year plan but i have my heavenly father who knows everything that is ahead walking beside me and watching out for me so that's fine by me cos it gets better than you know!

"⁹Or what man is there of you, if his son asks him for a loaf of bread, will hand him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will hand him a serpent? ¹¹If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him!"-Jesus

Im so glad this is His heart for you and me.